5/12/16
Chapter 16
- Rules: beliefs about what had to happen in order for them to feel good about this experience
- Nothing has to happen in order for You to feel good.
★ - when we structure our lives in a way where happiness is dependent on things we can't control, we will experience Pain.
- enjoy the event no matter what happens. decide to do it.
- life is a variable event
- most have created numerous ways to feel bad, and only a few ways to feel good.
★ - You could be winning & feel like you're losing b/c the scorecard you're using is unfair.
- my
valuesrules must be achievable to meet values
★ - set up the game so you can win. easy to feel good, hard to feel bad
- our self-esteem is tied to our ability to feel like we're in control of the environment.
My rules: health — anytime I train or eat healthily.
Intelligence — anytime I learn Something new, anytime I study or read, or anytime I react Positively.
cheerfulness — anytime I react to any situation, good or bad, in a Positive light. Anytime I smile.
happiness — anytime I am cheerful, intelligent, or healthy.
gratefulness — anytime I am appreciative of what I already have.
- At the base of every upset you've ever had with another Person is a rules upset.
- rules upset you, not their behavior
★ - don't react, respond intelligently
- don't expect People to live by your rules if you don't clearly communicate them.
- too many rules = bad
- must/should rules