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Captivate
The science of succeeding w people
InterPersonal intelligence - people skills - PQ
Social Zone - stand where people exit bar you become their savior if you rescue them from drinking alone.
| Approach me | Avoid me |
|---|---|
| Just got food | only talk to peeps I know |
| Fresh drink in hand | Just got here |
| Close to host | where is bathroom? |
- Succeeding w people is about engineering what works for you.
- Go where you thrive, not survive.
- Confidence Contagious - stay in social Zone
- Confident bdy language, eye contact = like more
Triple threat: Hands, eyes, posture
- Big talk, turn ons, spark w names, uniqueness, novelty
highlight of day? 32 cents
- Listen → search for good → highlight! help impress me
- Me too → why - more threads → why → I can help
Not "not me" → "Teach me"
- look for microexpressions, mimic
- speed read: OCEAN
- decode appreciation Language, Tailor relationship
- Know values of me & others
- Stories: Trigger → hook → struggle → resolve → bring back
How to Make a Killer First impressionCh. 2 Capture
- For a PowerFul first impression use the Triple threat, nonverbally hack all 3 levers of trust.
- use your hands - keep hands visible, never skip handshake, no fist bump
- Be a winner - stand like a winner. Look like a winner.
Interact like a winner. winner posture, take up space.
Shoulders down & back. chin, chest, forehead slightly up.
Space between arms & torso. Hands visible
- Engage w eye contact - eye contact produces oxytocin. when you like someone you look at them more. Notice eye color, hold eye contact 60-70% of time. use to build trust, greater connection.
- You only have a few seconds to make a killer 1st impression.
How to have dazzling conversationsch. 3 Spark
- Skill solicitation, Because, customize, put # in phone
- Vulnerabilities make me more likable b/c nobody can relate to perfection
- Just say no to crazy, don't explain
- like more people to be more liked. Help peeps feel they belong. Let curiosity drive actions