p. 63
☺Joy on Demand
Intro- Happiness is highly trainable. I can train my mind like I can my body. I can do biceps curls for my mind.
- Raise my happiness baseline
- Joy independent of sensual or ego stimulation is attainable
- Joy can be experienced in 1 breath
Independent Joy vs. Dependent Joy
| Independent joy | Dependent joy |
|---|---|
| - breathing | - Money |
| - being kind | - buying/consuming stuff |
| - Doing the right thing | - external factors |
| - being generous |
- Joy is an infinite resource at our disposal & it's not elusive if we know where and how to look.
- Happiness - optimal state of being
- Joy - an emotion
- Joy is the building block to happiness
- Joy leads to happiness, which leads to success.
- ability to access joy on demand leads to happy life
- success does not lead to happiness
- wealth is a personality multiplier either way, kind or unkind
- Also an experience multiplier, happy or miserable.
- Happiness must come before success.
- Joy & meditation are a nice pair that forms a virtuos cycle.
Meditation is training of the mind. Joy becomes highly accessible in a trained mind.
- Joy is widely understood, so it's widely accessible.
Joy Becomes you. (benefits of Mind training)Mind training outcomes: calmness, clarity, resilience, creativity, self-confidence
- drop pebbles (creativity) in a calm lake (the mind) to see ripples (to percieve creativity clearly).
| Confidence | Cockiness |
|---|---|
| - Authentic | - inauthentic |
| - Stable | - fueled by conceit |
| - independent of success/failure | - fragile, can crash down |
| - see things as they are | A need to show the world how wonderful I supposedly am. |
| - beautiful | insecure inside |
- 3 sources of confidence: arising from knowing, arising from equanimity, arising from resilience
Joy → Alertness + calmness = creativity
- Practice mindfulness of body & emotions to develop strong self-awareness → self-confidence from knowing self
- I can learn anything
| Knowing | Equanimity | Resilience |
|---|---|---|
| - Knowing my stuff | - ability to calm mind on demand | - ability to recover |
| - Knowing myself | - ability to hold my ego lightly | - willing to bear witness to own pain & failure (courage) |
| - Knowing I can know |
confidence arise from all these ↑Knowing · Equanimity · Resilience
★ charisma: ★ most imp thing is now. most imp person is the one I'm interacting withPresence, ★ self-conf. serve the person I'm interacting withPower, & ★ Tell myself I'm glad to see them as I greetwarmth
★ (or anything)Starting & sticking with exercise: Make it joyful. Ease into a regimen, skillfully, gradually ramp up.
Make it fun
- Take mindful breaths to supplement meditation
- Just 1 slow, deep breath activates the vagus nerve, which activates parasympathetic nervous system (67).
- use gentleness of attitude & intensity of attention in breath
- Everytime I have to wait, take a mindful breath
- Habit = cue + routine + reward
- When bored (cue), meditate (routine), notice that I feel better (reward)
- sustainable joys: joy of ease, & joy of momentary relief from affliction
From one Breath to one GoogolSettling the mind:
Anchoring - bringing gentle attention to a chosen object.
Resting - Relax. Cease work
Being - in present moment
★ Settle the mind for at least a few mins a day
- let mind settle on own terms. let thoughts come & go.
- balance mental relaxation, mental energy, & equanimous Watching.
- The key is watching myself. Too much energy, relax. Too much relaxation, give energy.
- ★ Establish relaxation first
Recap
- it's easy & even 1 breath is beneficial
- Mind settles itself
- Be at ease and just enjoy
What, Me Happy? (inclining the mind towards joy)- Incline mind towards joy
- Familiarize mind with joy
- Simply notice the thin slices of joy in things I do.
- The more I notice them, the more they appear.
like looking for blue cars on the road.
Habit: cue → routine → reward
Joyful experience → Noticing joy → aware of joy, basking in it
- Practice: whenever there is an experience of joy, just notice it.
- Next: pay intense attention to joy.
- our facial expressions reflect our emotional states. Recall Tony Robbins' Physiology
3 breaths for joy on Demand: 1) gentle but intense attention to breath, 2) calm body, 3) bring up joy (smile!)
- inf. Practice: attend to joy of blamelessness when you do the right thing
- inf. Practice: attend to joy of pleasant daily experiences, ex: first bite, shower water touching skin, holding hands, someone's presence, a nice day, ability to walk, senses.
- ★ Don't ignore joyful moments.
Bask in joyful moments → gratefulness → happiness.
- 3 things I'm grateful for (write)
- use "doublers" - recall, vividly, one positive experience from the day. Brain doesn't know difference between real & imagined, so I double the experience.
- Fully attend to every joyful experience
- The more I incline my mind towards joy in real life, the more joyful & productive my meditations will be.
- habituation (taking things for granted) = bad
- overcome habituation: 1) deploy attention, attend to joy.
- Be grateful 3). Strong awareness of mortality. Eventually I, & everyone I love, will die. It really puts things into perspective, can lead to greater appreciation & happiness, & makes it hard to stay angry at someone. Think: "If the person died tomorrow, how would I feel?"
★ inf. Practice: At least once a day, remind myself that eventually I and everyone I love will die.
Do it upon waking or anytime.
- At this moment right here right now, I am not in pain
- Since the absence of phenomena doesn't stimulate anything, all we can do is bring awareness to the absence
- inf. Practice: Notice absence of physical & emotional pain throughout day & bring attention to the joy that arises from it
- Just note when thoughts are gone. Even breaths
see things as they are. see impermanence. self is process, not object
- Don't expect perfection. Think of injured athlete example
- ★ SMILE!!!
- ★ Just Note Gone
- ★ notice joy in little things
- ★ develop reflexive smile
Uplift the Mind in seconds (Joy of Heart Practices)Joy of loving kindness - All I have to do is take 10 seconds to randomly wish for someone else to be happy.
- inf. Practice: randomly wish for 2 people to be happy throughout the day
- Uplift mind with Altruistic joy before meditating
- When something is done out of altruistic intent by me or anyone, notice it, makes me happy.
- Loving kindness is not clinginess nor conditional love.
- Compassion is not despair nor pity.
- Altruistic joy is not self-interested nor unwholesome.
- Equanimity is not disengagement nor apathy
- ★ Page 175 for physiological connections to sublime states.
Happiness is full of crap (working with emotional pain)- 3 steps to deal w/ emotional pain: Attentional step, cognitive step, affective step, cognitive step.
Step 1: Calm the mind. Bring mindful attention to breath.
- ★ No matter how bad the pain/situation is, always calm the mind FIRST.
affective step- I can experience joy in the midst of pain.
- Painful emotions are just unpleasant sensations in the body.
- aversion is the proximate cause of suffering.
- (Anger master)1st antidote to aversion: loving kindness
- 2nd antidote to aversion: Equanimity. These thoughts are not me, These emotions are not me.
- 6 ways to reappraise every situation: pg 202
- Love yourself enough to allow the space & time to heal.
- Art of suffering is love.
The Great Mind is better than sex (An exploration beyond worldly measures)- Meditation is letting go.
- The ultimate reason to practice & master meditation is to reduce or even eliminate the suffering in this world.
- start by cultivating inner peace, inner joy, & compassion.
