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How to Win Friends & influence People
Fundamental techniques in handling People
- criticizing does not make lasting change, but incurs resentment.
- instead of condemning, try to understand
Principle 1: Don't criticize, condemn, or complain.
- criticism kills, use appreciation & encouragement
- "The power of appreciation"
Principle 2: give honest & sincere appreciation
businessTalk about what the other person wants & show them how to get it.
To persuade, first arouse in the other person an eager want.
★ Secret to success: see things from other person's point of view.
Principle 3: "First, arouse in the other person an eager want.
He who can do this has the whole world with him.
He who cannot walks a lonely way"
6 ways to make People like you
- ★ You can make more friends in 2 months by becoming genuinely interested in other people than you can in 2 years by trying to get others interested in you.
- "it is the individual who is not interested in his fellow men who suffers the greatest difficulties in life"
- greet people with animation & enthusiasm to make friends.
Principle 1: become genuinely interested in other people.
- expression on your face is far more important than your clothes
- ex: dogs are always so glad to see us that they almost jump out of their skins. So, naturally, we are glad to see them.
- A real, heartwarming smile that comes from within, not an insincere grin.
- added 9/14/26The first "meeting you" probably should be "meeting them".You must have a good time meeting you if you expect them to have a good time meeting you.
Principle 2: smile
The average person is more interested in his own name than in all other names put together.
- remember names & make people feel important.
Principle 3: Remember that a person's name is to that person the sweetest & most important sound in any language.
- Hire good listeners.
- Thank someone for complaining to you, break their pattern.
- many people fail to make a favorable impression because they don't listen attentively.
- don't be so concerned with what you are going to say next that you don't keep your ears open.
- everyone wants a friendly, sympathetic listener to unburden themselves
- Enloe"His eyes were mild & genial", not piercing the soul.
"His voice was low & kind."
- ★ To be interesting, be interested.
- ask Q's that others will enjoy answering.
- encourage people to talk about themselves & their accomplishments.
- ★ A person's headache means more to that person than a famine in china that kills 1 million people. Think of that the next time you start a conversation.
Principle 4: Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
- The road to a person's heart is to talk about what he/she treasures most
Principle 5: talk in terms of the other person's interests.
- Always make the other person feel important.
- not insincere flattery, but sincere appreciation.
- use phrases like "I'm sorry to trouble you..." & "would you be so kind..."
- most people will feel more important than you. The way to their hearts is to let them realize that you recognize their importance sincerely.
- ★ Talk to people about themselves, & they will listen for hours.
Principle 6: Make the other person feel important, & do it sincerely.
Part 3
How to win People to Your way of thinking
- Why prove to a man he is wrong? is it going to make him like you? No
- to get the best of an argument, avoid it.
Principle 1: The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
Principle 2: show respect for the other person's opinions. Never say, "You're wrong."
Principle 3: If you are wrong, admit it quickly & emphatically.
Principle 4: Begin in a friendly way
Principle 5: Get the other person saying "yes, yes" immediately.
Principle 6: Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
Part 4: Be A Leader
Principle 1: Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
Principle 2: call attention to people's mistakes indirectly
Principle 3: Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.
Principle 4: Ask questions instead of giving orders.
Principle 5: Let the other person save face
Principle 6: praise the slightest improvement & praise every improvement. Be hearty in your approbation & lavish in your praise.
Principle 7: Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
Principle 8: use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
Principle 9: make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.
